Lover Girl

♥︎

I was raised in a loveless home                                                                                                

Words that cut like knives were always delivered in a disguise,

I learned early the duality of what someone says and the look in their eyes.

I learned how to notice before anyone spoke,

I was taught that even the souls that created me could be the ones that left me broke.

I learned to say it’s okay before I was ever consoled

I learned ‘I’m sorry’ was just an empty phrase that came with no promise, no hope.

Somehow,

all I have is a love that can’t escape

a feeling inside me, mixed with faith.

The problem with being a hopeless romantic is it leaves me just hopeless,

thinking I am one grand gesture away, but honestly, I’ll maybe settle for the less grand way

Because even the bare minimum to someone starved of more

can look like effort to someone who isn’t sure.

While I unpack the baggage I have from the war

sifting through all I wish I could ignore,

I know love is out there, I know love is more

it is what I am made of, to my core.

I will always be a lover girl, even when love is not around

if love is not something dealt, it is something that can be found. 

I hope love visits, I hope love stays

because once I find it, a home will finally be made.

One where love does not disguise in other ways

the unconditional kind, the one that is more than a phrase.

I was made for love, and love I hope to find

because who I am is a lover girl, with a love undefined.